Stepfamily Issues

Personal stories about stepfamilies, childhood and general family issues.

May 31, 2012

Uncomfortable living with stepmother

Morgan is 23 and she's eager to find a better paying job so that she can move out of the house she shares with her father and stepmother and get a place of her own.

"I'm presently living with my dad and stepmother in her house," says Morgan. "I get on okay with her -- sort of -- but it is her home, after all, and I feel uncomfortable living there and seeing her and dad together kind of spooks me.”

“I am glad that he's found happiness at last, but I don't belong here."

"One thing I learned when my mom and dad split up is that you will never be respected if you don't have ethics," says Morgan, "and I am so careful about making my next career move because the last thing I want to do is stuff things up and be forced to return to live here again."

"Living an unblemished life and doing the right thing is very important to me,” explains Morgan. “A lot of good people get hurt when others behave in an unethical manner, and ultimately the person who behaves badly doesn't prosper. We've all got to live with ourselves and what we've done, don't we?"

“I gained my present job through one of my father’s business friends,” explains Morgan, “and I feel morally as well as ethically bound to be upfront with my employer about seeking another job.”

"I know it is far easier to get a new job when you are already employed, but it’s unethical to do so without being honest,” says Morgan. “It’s just as bad as finding a new partner while you’re seemingly happily married -- a lot of people do that, too. My mother did, for instance."

“I know that there’s a big difference between marriages and jobs, of course,” laughs Morgan. “I’m not in a loving relationship with my employer, we don’t have children, extended families, and a shared history, home and bank accounts like my father and mother did – but we do have bonds and responsibilities that must be respected.”

“My dad helped me get this job and I don’t want him to think I am anything like my mother,” explains Morgan. “The signs were pretty clear for a long time that my mother was promiscuous and unethical in her marriage to my dad, and I want to prove to him that I am different.”

"I remember my father tried vainly to forgive my mother each time she strayed before he finally gave up and divorced her," says Morgan. “It took him a long time to trust another woman, and because she’s good to him I respect their marriage.”

“He’s much happier with his new wife – my stepmother – than he was with my mother,” says Morgan, “and I think they will be much happier, and so will I, if I moved out and started my own life in my own place.”

Read more of Morgan's story:

  • be honest and ethical at work
  • ethics and headhunters

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