Stepfamily Issues

Personal stories about stepfamilies, childhood and general family issues.

December 28, 2007

jealous stepmothers

Judith’s stepfamily situation is as old as the hills – literally – and because she knows that the jealousy of stepmothers can reverberate for thousands of years, giving rise to rival religions which will tear the world apart, she is doing the best she can to chill out and accept that her husband loves two women with whom he has two sons.

“Strangely enough, my husband is called Abraham, too,” laughs Judith, “and, like the biblical Abraham, my guy is also fabulously wealthy and a large part of the jealousy between me and the ‘other woman’ has to do with which son is going to inherit the business and all the lolly that goes with it.”

“My Abe was already circumcised so he didn’t have to inscribe in blood the sign of the Covenant on his body in order to gain a son,” explains Judith, “and I didn’t have to offer him my servant to bear him a child because I could not.”

“We actually had our son by IVF when I was 39 years old after 19 years of marriage,” says Judith, “but in the meantime Abe had been philandering and had made some stupid chick pregnant and then he forced me to accept that he now had two wives and two sons to protect.”

“It would be real funny if we had called our sons Ishmael and Isaac, but we didn’t,” laughs Judith, “but the result was the same. Abe was torn between his two women and his two sons right from the very start and there was no love lost between her and I and between my son and hers. We were fiercely jealous of each other from the get go.”

“Abe and I had some horrific arguments over the situation he had put us in,” says Judith, “but I failed to achieve what the biblical Abraham’s wife, Sarah, was able to do. She banished the other woman and her kid to Mecca!”

“Actually, it was a silly thing to do because the biblical Abraham just took months off every year to visit young Hagar and Ishmael in Mecca leaving old Sarah to stew at home with Isaac.”

“Better to keep one’s enemy in sight, I say, and that’s what I’ve done.”

“Yes, I am burning with jealousy and so is my son,” says Judith, “but I am Abe’s lawful wife and he lives with us – not them – so I think that they are far more jealous of us than we are of them, and that makes me feel better!”

“Actually, the comparisons between the biblical Abraham, Sarah and Hagar are really spooky,” laughs Judith. “Had she given birth to a daughter, rather than a son, I would not feel so jealous. It’s just that Abe is so proud of his two sons and will not favour one over the other, even though I feel he should put my son first.”

“I have no idea if my son will go on to sire 12 tribes, and if from her son’s descendants a founder of a new religion like Islam will arise,” laughs Judith, “but I do know that feeling bad about a stepfamily situation needs a great big chill pill at times because jealousy, like that between Sarah and Hagar, can be so vindictive that it can reverberate for thousands of years, poisoning generation after generation.”

“There’s really nothing new about a man loving two women, fathering sons by them and stirring up a pot of jealousy, is there?”

For the biblical story read:

  • Abraham's Legacy

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